As parents we must listen to our kids,learn what they enjoy and encourage them to be the
they can be.Words can't express the pride I felt as I volunteered myself as a hair model and
witnessed my young cousin use her hands as a sculptor and my hair as clay.To my surprise,
she bore a love for cosmetology and had been using every opportunity to learn by
observation. Just for kicks she had chosen to create a beautiful braided up-do
for her twin sister. My mouth dropped in amazement as I inspected the hair and could find nothing to
say but "Wow!" She made such a favorable impression that I have decided to become her first
complimentary,ofcourse,client.
I have shared this story to say how important it is to allow our babies to flourish at their
pace in their own individual strengths. Too often we witness kids that grow into adults with no
purpose and no direction. Or they attempt to make money illegally which only leads to life in prison
or worse. As single parents we are often the only one present, so we must be even more observant
and willing to sacrifice what we can to help them seize their potential. If you find that your child
loves decorating their room,introduce them to the world of interior decorating;if they enjoy putting
their outfits together, groom them toward the world of fashion.....and if they love experimenting with
various hairstyles, open the door for them to your local cosmetology class or beauty school.
You just never know what creativity is lying dormant in your child just waiting to be released!
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Monday, April 16, 2012
Round and Round ...Back to Child Support We Go!
It boggles my mind the lengths "men" will go to to avoid paying support. At first I thought it was an epidemic only women of certain socioeconomic statuses had to deal with;you know,those of us struggling to make ends meet living at or below poverty level. I was surprised to see women like Sheree Whitfield,of RHOA fame,fighting her ex (former NFL player) husband for support.In a strange sort of way I found solace in knowing that I was not a statistic, but part of a larger sisterhood of mothers.
My fight for child support has spanned over a decade and I am not sure why it has had to come to this. I have 3 children and I am dealing with 2 deadbeat fathers.The first father has 7 children total including my 2,and the second had 3 children including my 1.(Not to mention the second baby daddy went on to father another child after my youngest.)
It has always amazed me how a man's perception of a woman changes once a child has been conceived.Somehow,somewhere along the way,if the woman chooses to do the right thing and keep the child,she becomes the enemy;as if she laid down and made the child all by herself.Once the child is born,they seem to view the child not as being of their own flesh,but as dollar signs slipping through their fingers. It wouldn't be so bad if cordial conversation could be had,but all too often they avoid all avenues of communication in an effort to either keep their manipulative schemes to themselves or as a means to hurt the mother;not realizing it's not the mother who is missing out, but he is depriving himself of formative years and milestones that he can never get back.
I'm sure there are some mothers out there who create a stigma that makes it harder for the rest of us.But there are some of us,like myself,who live for their children and places their welfare as priority number one.I don't know the last time I have made a purchase for myself for this very reason. I often find myself frustrated thinking what my children could have if the fathers paid their share.
Going back and forth to child support court would never be what I'd choose in an ideal situation,but unfortunately,it's a necessity if you want justice for your child(ren).My children are presently 10,8, and 3.They are not old enough to demand in a court of law what they are entitled to,so until then,I must advocate for them.
My fight for child support has spanned over a decade and I am not sure why it has had to come to this. I have 3 children and I am dealing with 2 deadbeat fathers.The first father has 7 children total including my 2,and the second had 3 children including my 1.(Not to mention the second baby daddy went on to father another child after my youngest.)
It has always amazed me how a man's perception of a woman changes once a child has been conceived.Somehow,somewhere along the way,if the woman chooses to do the right thing and keep the child,she becomes the enemy;as if she laid down and made the child all by herself.Once the child is born,they seem to view the child not as being of their own flesh,but as dollar signs slipping through their fingers. It wouldn't be so bad if cordial conversation could be had,but all too often they avoid all avenues of communication in an effort to either keep their manipulative schemes to themselves or as a means to hurt the mother;not realizing it's not the mother who is missing out, but he is depriving himself of formative years and milestones that he can never get back.
I'm sure there are some mothers out there who create a stigma that makes it harder for the rest of us.But there are some of us,like myself,who live for their children and places their welfare as priority number one.I don't know the last time I have made a purchase for myself for this very reason. I often find myself frustrated thinking what my children could have if the fathers paid their share.
Going back and forth to child support court would never be what I'd choose in an ideal situation,but unfortunately,it's a necessity if you want justice for your child(ren).My children are presently 10,8, and 3.They are not old enough to demand in a court of law what they are entitled to,so until then,I must advocate for them.
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