Today was a tough day for me and my family.The article I am about to share is still raw and it is unlike any other I have shared before.It's unique as it is written from the perspective of the family of an absentee dad; the other component often left out in the equation of relationships gone sour, with a child at the helm of it.
Today my niece found out she has a sister, and I found out I have a new niece...... who is 18 years old now and in her first year of college! Shocked,happy,disgusted and embarressed are only a few of the emotions I am feeling right now.How could this happen?How could my brother sleep at night and look himself in the mirror in the morning,knowing the woman he creeped with was pregnant?Did he ever wonder what she looked like?Did he ever consider that though he made the conscious decision to be an absentee dad, our family did not sign up to be an absentee granddad,grandmother,aunt, and cousins?
I saw a picture of my niece,this 18 year old beautiful young lady, and to tell the truth,she looks more like my brother (and me) than my other niece does!How uncanny is that? I was unsure how to handle this on my end, but I ultimately made the choice to reach out to her,and I called .Surprisingly she was quite pleasant and receptive to hearing what I had to say.I don't know how I would have responded in her shoes.Would I have hung up?Would I have ranted and raved about where have we been all these (18) years?If I were her mother,how would I respond to his family trying to contact MY child after all these years?Would it matter to me that this man's family is not to blame for his ignorance and poor choices? And as my brother,how would I feel,knowing that everyone now sees me for the liar I REALLY am? Would I feel I owe this other child anything for the pain I have caused her?Would I hold my head in shame?.....Apparently not,because he STILL doesn't acknowledge her.
All we can do now,with or without my brother on board,is move forward.But my heart breaks for the years lost,for the memories that were never made. My heart breaks for the birthdays,proms,and graduations I missed; for the boys talks,laughs and hugs we could have shared. I can't stress this enough.....If you feel you are man enough to bring a baby into this world,no matter the circumstance,whether it was a one night stand or your jump off,handle your business.If you choose to turn your head and walk away you do that...but remember, your family didn't co-sign that choice with you.
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